Personal Writing: A Historical Perspective

Cleaning out my office (ok, really just shuffling papers from one pile to another pile), I stumbled across a pad of paper with some brief writings I did about 15 years ago. And since I found it mildly interesting, I figured I would share it with you. Don't worry, it really isn't that long...

Television Pitches

I think these were from an old email chain with some of my friends about 15 years ago. Back when we would sit at our jobs, and actively try to avoid our work and keep our sanity. Well, figuratively speaking, since one you read this, I'm guessing you'll be questioning mine.

Pitch 1:

Two old men who sit on their porch all day, complain about how it was better in the old days, and sip lemonade, and then realize the porch is really a time machine. Each week they decide to travel back in time to fix things, but always make things worse.

(I would like to point out that this idea was written 15 years before Hot Tub Time Machine came out...Just saying)

Pitch 2:

Joe and Louise are in love, but Louise dies in a horrible accident. However, because their love is so strong, Louise is given the chance to return to Earth, as a wolverine. Watch how these two overcome their problems to rekindle the passion they once had.

(You'd think these were written by a 12 year old, but no, I was in my twenties)

Pitch 3:

Randy is a logger. One day in the mill, he falls into a vat of wood pulp, swallowing a great deal. Barely surviving the ordeal, he loses his job and becomes an assistant park ranger in Yosemite Park. There he learns his accident has given him the ability to communicate with trees. When he learns the trees plan a hostile takeover of the world, he joins them to wage an epic battle.

(I'd like to point out this was written 15 years before The Happening. Actually, maybe I wouldn't like to point that out.)

Pitch 4:

Max is a crack hacker and he's only 14. One day he hacks into a top secret AI lab. Before he can get out, his computer zaps Max, bringing him into a mystical world underwater. Max realizes he can breathe underwater and assumes command a kingdom of sea horses.

(I'm anxiously awaiting AMC to pick this one up)

And then here's the next page of the pad...

Top 10 Worst Jobs

10. Parachute tester

9. Amish electrician

8. Bullet proof vest tester

7. Insurance coverage salesman for kamikaze pilots

And that's it...I guess insurance coverage salesman for kamikaze pilots couldn't be topped. Though I still think amish electrician is funny.

NanoWriMo Update 11/21

Well, somehow I've hit 20,000 words. 20,483 to be exact. I couldn't tell you how many of those are good though. I'm having a tough time figuring out how not to go back and rewrite things. But I think that's really the point of the Nanowrimo when you think about it; it's not the quality, it's the accomplishment.

Still, I'm not sure how I feel about hitting 20,000 words right now. Behind the pace to finish, it now seems as though I've still put too much effort into this to abandon it. And yet I've got to be honest, right now I hate what I've written. And not in a "oh god I can't write this is horrible" way. More like a "oh god I've written about 30 pages of a novel and haven't come close to a plot."

As I've stated before, I've switched voice, I've switched tone, I've switched a lot. I have huge chunks of description just floating out there, doing nothing to advance the story. Yet I find these are my favorite pieces.

It's fun to be schizophrenic.

So anyway, while I still try to figure out how to trudge along, I figured the least I could do was include an excerpt - the same excerpt I have on the nanowrimo page. So, if you'd like take a look on the flip side...



A quick note. I have already changed the name of the protagonist. And I already hate the name I changed it to. But I didn't feel the need to update this, so there you go. Enjoy. And please leave any comments (if you have them). And not just I love it. I'd rather read "I hate it." If that's the true sentiment. Without further adieu...

An excerpt from an untitled possibly never finished novel:

There were moments in an entity's history that gave it it's heft. Regardless of it was: a country, a person, heck, even a car - every physical object - both inanimate and breathing - had a history of events that sculpted it into it's current existence. A lightning strike could be a monumental moment of historical significance to a tree; two planes flying into two buildings will definitely have an impact on a nation. Those moments in history however small or significant they may be, made everything what it was at that very moment.

Reed felt this introduction held such importance.

"Reed. Me too."

"Good. At least I won't be the only one looking like an idiot."

Reed didn't think Stacy could ever possibly look like an idiot in any situation, but didn't say it. And then wondered why he hadn't, because it was a good line. It certainly would have given the significant moment a direction, and defined it at least a little clearer than the current muck it was in.

She turned away to give Frank more of her attention once again. Reed took this opportunity to gaze at her discreetly. Even her imperfections: the misplaced strings of hair she hadn't cared about to make sure were pulled back; a small purplish bruise with yellowing edges on her forearm; a dent on the top of her knee; a paper cut sliver of a scar on her ankle; were all perfect. All those blemishes put together grounded her in the reality of the now, and gave her a certain weight in Reed's mind.

He just fell in love.

"HEY!" a gruff, nasally shout interrupted his daydreaming. The second time today.

"You lose focus like that on the stand and a kid goes down what do you do? I'll tell you what you do. You piss your $8 Target board shorts, get dizzy and pass out, thinking about how you're going to tell the parents' of the two year old that's blue and motionless at the bottom of one foot of water - because a toddler can drown in a PUDDLE, that's been PROVEN! So now they can go buy that RV they've secretly wanted but put on hold because of college tuition prices for their little sport...their little scooter. Because he wasn't going to be big enough to play football and get a scholarship, and because he was going to be smart, but not a genius, at least nothing you could count on for an academic scholarship...and financial aid? Not the way Mr. Bennington was advancing. Sure, he'd be making a nice living, but not a college tuition throwaway type salary. But those worries won't be theirs anymore because you took care of it. You took your eye off the pool to drool over some prepubescent girl, and in that second of lapsed concentration, a boy will never see another Christmas. I hope you brought another pair of board shorts!

Reed looked up to see a not fat, but certainly skinny man bending down to bring his mirrored glasses and attitude down to Reed's face level. "Stout" might have been a word a lady used to describe him to one of her friends going out on a blind date with him; "portly" if stout got a negative reaction. Reed, based on this sudden introduction mentally chose "pudgy."

NaNoWriMo Update 11/14

10,000!

Learn more on the flip side!



Yup. Reached it wound 5:00 today.

I took the rest of the night off. Bad idea? Sure, but I'm one fifth the way finished.

NaNoWriMo Update: 11/13

It's been a roller coaster. After breaking the 7000 word mark, I of course went back and fiddled around with some stuff, and dropped back down to around 6600 words. I really wanted to be at 10000 by the end of tonight; that seems like a pipe dream. I mean, 30 Rock is on - and this week Jennifer Anniston guest stars.

She's back on Thursday nights!

Anyway, I still am not 100% sure of my plot - story of my life - and I've tinkered with some conversations and who's having them. Have I mentioned this thing is like 90% dialog? I'm not sure if that's good or not. My voice stinks, and my grasp of third person limited narration certainly needs a brush up. Also, I really wanted to keep a Dabney Coleman reference in (a response to Buffalo Bill) but my protagonist is supposed to be 18. And the person making the reference was an 18 year old girl. You can start to get an idea of how this is going to turn out with these clues, right?

Maybe I'll just up the ages of everyone. There are a lot of swim clubs with 30 year old guards, right?