Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Cool Shit 8/28

Normally I wouldn't post a trailer like Getaway because I don't want to be part of the marketing machine for such a generic, cliche-ridden film with actors looking to make a quick paycheck (I'm looking at you Ethan Hawke.


I have few rules in my life. But the ones I do have, I tend to take seriously. For example, one of my rules is "No movie with Michael Caine in it can be considered bad." It's just the way it is. And another one of my rules?

Any movie that directly or indirectly reminds me of the 1997 classic Anaconda is worth at least one viewing...

If we all agree to pretend that Jon Voight was not swallowed - and then spit back up - by an anaconda in the amazonian jungles, and that he survived and went on to build a crime syndicate in LA (or whatever city Getaway is staged in), changed his accent SLIGHTLY from Paraguayan? to Russian? in order to fuck around with Ethan Hawke, I think we can all say it will make Getaway that much better.

Also, including that trailer, gives me great reason to include this. You're welcome...

You'd think a story about a man mistakenly sleeping (not fucking you sickos) with a fox, thinking it was his girlfriend would be unbelievable. But I'm here to tell you why it is believable. Because I have a better fox story. A few years ago, late at night, a fox broke into my parents house (and by break in, i mean it smashed through a glass pane by the door; it did not use lock picks) and went and hid behind a chair. My mother, startled by the noise went to investigate. Thinking it was the neighbors dog (I have no idea) she simply pet it and went to bed.

Big mistake.

Waking up in the morning to the aroma of fox scat and a mangy fox, she did what any normal person would do. Told my brother and father there was a loose fox in the house and that she was going to play tennis.

The moral of this story? It takes more than a psychotic, mangy fox in the house to get a rise out of my mother.

2 minutes and 18 seconds of airplane porn. When you sit back and start to think about how a plane even works, it is rather crazy that we take it all for granted. It was just a little over 100 years ago since we discovered flight!

More video game minutiae...this time we're taking a look at video game urban legends.

The US Open (for tennis) is this week (and next). I'm not sure what your interest is for this, but Nadal's incredible shot below, might be the shot of the tournament, and it happened in the first round!

I'm not even sure how to include this link. There's a group of people on the internet that believe there is a Bigfoot inside Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, a 2004 video game. But it's very hard to find, and the "evidence" of its existence mirrors the evidence of the existence of an actual Bigfoot in real life. I find myself thinking more and more of a snake eating itself as I read the article.

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