Sunday, December 21, 2008
Week 16 Picks with Goose - So you're saying there's a chance?
I won't spend too much on this column addressing the silly complaints Cline lobbed toward me for last week's picks. I'll simply say that I doubt he would have said anything had there not been a 4 game swing in the standings. But hey, why dwell on that, or the fact that he called me out on not being "entertaining" enough in my picks? I mean, we'll ignore the fact he missed the joke... he was probably hard at work writing his one December non-picks blog post.
But it's the holidays, so enough quibbling. We're here for you, the bored reader, to mildy entertain and amuse. And what could be more entertaining than children being scared out of their minds by Santa Claus?
Picks and more on the flip side...
I'm already down 0-2 this week, based on David Garrard's absolutely abysmal play Thursday night (I might need a couple of Cline's bank statements to see if this was on the up and up - nothing like fixing a game to right the ship) and then being so distraught about Thursday's loss ignoring the Saturday night game. Hey, when only 6 people can see it, it doesn't necessarily stand out in the collective conscience. Oh well, I would have picked Dallas anyway, and it's good to see those morons lose. Can't wait to see what T.O. has to say. Regardless, let's move on and see if I can chip away at the lead anymore.
As always, picks are CAPITALIZED and bold...
Miami -4 @ KANSAS CITY
What better time to pick Kansas City when their front office is in turmoil? Well, I can at least use the argument that Miami really hasn't seen too much cold weather and Arrow Head used to be tough to win in for the visitors. Back in the 80s. Maybe the Dolphins will get flash backs, just like this picture invokes. This looks less like a trip to see Santa and more like an LSD flashback on the set of Suspiria.
Don't know what Suspiria is? Well, you should. Here's a little taste. Oh, it's a tad gory so all you little kids taking notes to get your gambling fix in, don't watch it.
Atlanta @ MINNESOTA -3
Let's go Minnesota. 3 isn't too much to cover. Speaking of cover, Santa's getting a little fresh here, no?
ARIZONA @ New England -8
Maybe it will be poor weather and a low scoring game? Ok, I got nothing other than to say Arizona pulling this off would be an early Christmas present.
As for this kid, I'll be honest - I'd have the same reaction on this guy. And a green shirt, Santa? What is this, amateur hour?
NEW ORLEANS @ Detroit +7
If I had to guess, I'd say this is the game Detroit wins. But I also liked Sports Guy's breakdown of Brees wanting 5,000 yards. So I'll go with the Aints here. As for this picture, well it certainly tells a story. I've seen 'Nam vets show more emotion than the little girl with her "100 mile stare."
Cincinnati @ CLEVELAND -3
The battle for Ohio! If that doesn't get everyone pumped up than I don't know what will. Possibly the battle of two coaches who will not be coaching next year? Which team is more pathetic at this point?
I included this picture not so much for the scared child and absolute lack of care seen in Santa's face and more for the Dark Side of the Moon backdrop they chose to use.
CAROLINA @ Giants -3
If there's been a constant in my picks, it's that I've ridden Carolina to success. If only I could say that about 10 other teams, I'd be in decent shape.
I dare say this Santa is enjoying the child's upsetness.
Philadelphia @ WASHINGTON +5
It would be perfect for the Redskins to man up and stop the streak the Eagles are currently on. And in any other year, that would dash the hearts of many a Philly fan. Luckily, in 2008 this happened though:
So we're not as suicidal as normal.
As for a Santa picture, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I don't think this picture was Dad's idea.
PITTSBURGH -2 @ Tennessee
If the season was 9 weeks long, Tennessee would probably be celebrating a Superbowl victory. But it's not, and I hate to say it, but I think the Titans' holiday might be spoiled - much like this child's:
SAN FRANCISCO -5 @ St. Louis
Seems a little ballsy to take San Fran giving so many points, but you gotta do what you gotta do. And while there's nothing so great about the child's reaction here, I do appreciate the photographer getting the supple side boob of who we can presume was mommy looking on.
BUFFALO @ Denver -7
Buffalo has a lot to play for, right? Like...um...trying to show that the promising start to the season wasn't a fluke? Remember when Berman soiled himself on ESPN about the Bills fantastic start? Pretty much like this Santa soiled himself realizing he had to do this for another 12 hours.
NY Jets @ SEATTLE +4.5
Favre is a HOF quarterback, there's really no argument. But this year, he's had trouble managing his team. He can only do so much before he feels he has to force things. And now, out on the west coast, I think it's going to bite him one last time, and he'll be left holding the shreds of the Jets' season. Need an pictorial analogy? I'm glad you asked!
SAN DIEGO @ Tampa Bay -3
This one's a toss up. I have no idea who will win and lose. Kinda like this picture.
Houston @ OAKLAND +7
We all lose watching this one.
Whatever your persuasion, enjoy the holidays!