Movie Trailer Reviews

Every so often, I take a look at upcoming movies, choose some of the more interesting ones, and decide whether it will be any good based on its trailer. Fair? Of course not! But this is the Internet - where the young bucks can do and say what they want, and the old folk can call us fools and say we live in our mother's basement. And the wheel in the sky keeps on turning. So let's get started, shall we?

2012



Within the first 30 seconds of this, I thought to myself, this pretty much looks like a combination of Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. 30 seconds later, the trailer name checks both those movies. Not since Dennis Quaid have we had a more ill-suited action star than John Cusack. Don't get me wrong either. There's only so many romantic comedies you can play the lead in before wanting the big payday. And what's with our obsession with destroying the White House? Why doesn't Emmerich simply make a Discovery Channel television show using the latest and greatest special effects to show the destruction of historic landmarks in different cataclysmic events? We wouldn't have to trudge through cliched plots - we'd get the good stuff. Actually, now that I think about it, why not? I'm being serious. Does anyone have Roland Emmerlich's email address? I could produce the fuck out of a show like that.

More on the flip side...



Whiteout



Yes Warner Brothers, Kate Beckinsale in a parka is exactly what I want. Kudos.

The Goods



A great idea for a movie, the hijinks on a used car lot, this trailer still leaves a bad taste in my mouth within the first 15 seconds. I don't get the whole cigarette-on-the-plane-speech at all. Obviously it is used to show how obnoxious the Jeremy Piven character is, but something tells me there are other examples they could have pulled.

Speaking of Jeremy Piven, has there been another actor so liked onscreen but so reviled offscreen? I think he plays great characters, but the more he opens his mouth in real life, the harder it is to defend him.