Cool Shit 3/26

I'm a sucker for lists of cool places on this big blue marble we call Earth. This one even had a few I've never heard of.

It's difficult to have too strong an opinion on a list that is essentially based on opinion. But I'll still give it a try. This list of essential albums to own on vinyl seems a little short sighted, and very "modern." For example, it has no Pink Floyd albums, which, while it might be cliche to have them on such a list, that doesn't mean they don't deserve to be on it. Other choices I might suggest would be Steely Dan, any OTHER Radiohead album than the one they chose and Yes. And that's just off the top of my head.

Rolling Stone interviewed (separately) the living members of Pink Floyd and discussed the band in general, and the classic Dark Side of the Moon.

And speaking of Dark Side of the Moon, here's a writer who allegedly is listening to the album for the first time, which...what?

Care to see what the most popular file is in the FBI's vault of declassified documents?

FBI Training Video

So yeah...

No one has ever accused the FBI of being "current," but this video really takes the cake. Apparently a training video to give local/state police precincts a better understanding of Satanic ritual killings (my memory could be hazy but the late 80s/early 90s these were prevalent in the news media), this shows you exactly how out of touch people really can be...

First, let's take a look at the set. Maybe it's just me, but a morgue or sterile medical setting seems slightly more professional than a 3-2-1 Contact set. But hey, I'm not a federal investigator.

Wardrobe? I'd like to tell you how the video ended, but the shirt gave me a seizure. I can only imagine the producer speaking to the guy the night before...

Producer: "Ok, so have you got the script?"

Investigator: "Yes, I've been going over it. Looks good. Actually, I do have a question though."

Producer: "Ok..."

Investigator: "What should I wear? Something conservative? A suit?"

Producer: "No, we don't want this to be too stodgy. We want it current, so the video has a long shelf life. So maybe a nice shirt or something."

Investigator: (hangs up). "Yes! Off to Chess King!"

The constant references to a "model" are a nice touch, until he pulls the sheet and reveals an attractive, actual model. I thought for sure it would be a mannequin, or at the very least some Resuci-Annie they borrowed from the American Red Cross. But no, they zigged when I thought they would zag. And we're all reaping the rewards. The model is pretty, and just the sort of person you would expect to be targeted by a Satanic cult. Her bikini is stylish (I'm wondering if she and the main guy went to the mall together, and when he made a right to the Chess King, she headed down to Hot Topic), and while the pen drawn tattoos certainly betray the realism they had going, (I guess she isn't a method actor) aside from the slight breathing, she makes a great corpse. You can tell the cameraman was a fan of her work, as he lingered about a beat too long on the breast pentagrams.

I think however, my favorite part of the video comes at the 2:10 mark. Up until this point we've been presented with a fairly straightforward tutorial on what to look for on a suspected ritual killing crime scene and corpse. What to look for in regards to body markings and particular scarring. And then we get treated to this gem...

"Another thing that is oftentimes done in ritualistic homicides, is a penis is placed in the mouth of the deceased victim."

Now, I'm obviously no crime scene investigator, but something like that probably is going to be observed before the cuts on the back of a victim's heel. You might want to bring up the mouth/penis chit chat a little earlier in the tutorial. Just give everyone a heads up (no pun intended).

I can only hope more of these videos come to light, and they necessitated more wardrobe changes. Please. I beg whoever might have access.

Links of Interest 7/25

Well this is certainly one direction to take the Robocop series.

Great evidence that, at the end of the day, too much alcohol simply makes up too stupid to live.

While I appreciate the FBI releasing information about myths like this, I'm not entirely sure they should be the be all end all voice when it comes to stuff they might want to keep secret in the first place.

I thought this video would be a lot more interesting. Still, watching Rush fail at playing one of their hits does hold a little curiosity.

Not good for you, but they definitely look awesome. And besides, what hamburger is good for you?