Friday, February 25, 2011

The New Radiohead Album: The King of Limbs

Thought I would try something new. New for me, at least. I swear I was three quarters finished with this before I saw Ross McCammon's piece in Esquire basically doing the same thing. So much for being original. Still, it was fun to do, and I'm hoping to do it with other albums. Though Radiohead seems perfectly created for the experiment.

What the hell am I talking about? I simply put on Radiohead's new album, The King of Limbs and did a kind of stream of consciousness thing for each track. Don't take it as analysis, or examination - think of it more as a description of feelings and thoughts that the album created. Nothing's right; nothing's wrong.

I hope you enjoy it.

First, here's a youtube with the whole album, if you'd like to listen as you read...

Bloom - A musically better version of Revolution #9. Slightly better.

Morning Mr. Magpie - If Les Claypool played all the instruments the same way he played bass for the band Oysterhead, but didn't sing. Or, if the rain falling on a windshield suddenly got very rhythmic/hypnotic and an offkey singing angel, sitting shotgun, noticed and sang about it (because an offkey angel would still sound pretty goo, right?).

Little by Little - A belly dancer with oddly shaped castanets dancing for a largely apathetic crowd, in a small, smoky club that sits underneath an insurance office in Topeka Kansas. The belly dancer mistakenly thinks she is of middle eastern descent, but she's Irish/Italian.

Feral - When a musically inclined child, who nevertheless has never had any lessons or opportunity to see where his talent could take him, bangs on a casio keyboard just messing around.

Lotus Flower - What Tilda Swinton with a beard would dance around to for five minutes.

Codex - a hymnal/song for a high school student from your class that has died in a violent car crash. A childhood friend of his sits and reflecting on himself while looking in a mirror in the dark of the bathroom in the school, using only the light of the crescent moon to illuminate anything.

Give up the Ghost - Hey...what's that? Behind the many many computer boxes and things that are's an acoustic guitar and write a song about how it's become a ghost! Does anyone know how to play it? Oh for fuck's sake just program that electronic thing to make an acoustic guitar sound and bang on it occasionally. AND SLOW IT THE FUCK DOWN - what is this an Old Crow Medicine Show album?

Separator - A ball bounces rhythmically down the street. A mother wails melodically for her child out of the window of her row home pleading for him to come home and eat the hot dog casserole she made. Her attention is diverted to the ball. The spark of an idea forms in her head - she suddenly realizes her dream of being a Tom Jones' backup singer is attainable. All is right with the world.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Now this is something you're not gonna see everyday.

No matter what, for the first 30 seconds of this, you are not going to be able to guess where this clip goes...

And I for one am quite thankful for that!

Movie Clip: Battle: Los Angeles

I've been excited ever since I first read about the concept for the movie Battle: Los Angeles. Then when the first trailer came out, I got a little worried. It felt more Independence Day than Black Hawk Down, which it had been rumored to be like. Now I've seen this...

This restores some of the hope I had. It gives a sense of realism and grittiness. Once again, I'm excited for the movie.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Sky is Awesome

I wish more people would be amazed by this. We really are insignificant idiots floating on a crouton in the cosmic tomato soup that sits on the table of giants.

Friday, February 18, 2011

New Movie Trailer: Insidious

So the director of the first Saw got together with the creators of Paranormal Activity and decided to make a movie that...kinda looks like what would happen if you mashed up Saw and Paranormal Activity...

Normally, I'd go off and say how unoriginal/copied this feels, but not this time. Let's just go with it. It appears to be competently made, as much as one can tell from 2 minutes of a teaser trailer, and will probably scare its fair share of audiences.

Plus, it definitely reminded me of this That's Incredible segment...

Specifically the doll and moving rocking chair. In fact, it pretty much ripped off the moving rocking chair. Obviously, this That's Incredible segment is not even a little scary some 25 year after it aired, but believe me, watching it as a 7-8 year old, it scared the bejeezus out of me.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

No matter what you think, you are not prepared for Italian Spiderman

First things, first: I am angry it has taken this long for me to see the trailer to Italian Spiderman.

I'm not sure what the thinking was that went behind this, but I don't care. I don't care if it's genuine, or if it's a spoof, or simply a comedic segment to the Italian Sketch Show. It doesn't matter. Because it transcends the context. And every time you think you've seen the apex of absurdity, it trumps itself.

Without further adieu, please enjoy the trailer for Italian Spiderman.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Atlas Shrugged Movie Trailer

What's the absolute of completely awesome?

I have no idea where any of you stand when it comes to Ayn Rand. I know she has a huge following and her objectivism "philosophy" probably has an altar that Wall Streeters sacrifice illegal aliens on to make sure they get an extra 8 cents. Whatever. Who am I to judge your system of beliefs? (Though I love this little tidbit.)

If you have no idea about Ayn Rand and her beliefs, she thankfully gave us a novel that explained it in detail. Great detail. Excruciatingly ridiculous detail. Seriously, brevity was the enemy when it comes to Atlas Shrugged.

And now we have the movie...

Let's ignore the fact that while obviously the train industry is at the heart of the matter in the novel (that was written in 1957, you know, when trains were a little more in vogue as a means of transportation), might need to be updated to mirror the current times the movie seems to be set in, the casting seems a little off (Taylor Schilling just doesn't look like she can pull of the dominatrix style that Dagney Taggert was written for. And I'm not even going to get into the sex stuff). And this is from a guy who HATED reading this novel.

I also love the fact that this is supposedly the first part of a trilogy. I assume the third film will be Gault's speech. Condensed, no doubt.

Monday, February 14, 2011

The Black Keys somehow become more awesome...

...with this video for their song Howlin for You. Well, video might be slightly misleading. Just trust me, regardless of your like/dislike of The Black Keys, I think you'll enjoy this. Why am I so sure? Because it involves Corbin Bernsen and Sir Todd Bridges.

Slow Motion Awesomeness!

I like to think the only difference between me and Tom Guilmette is he has a really awesome camera.

Ok, he also has a lot more talent. But I definitely think we would be shooting some of the same stuff.

Check out this cool slow motion video with ordinary hotel room objects.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Just your average mask-wearing monkey waiter.

I bet you didn't think you were going to read that sentence today.

The Chris Elliot Interview

NY Mag has a pretty in depth interview with Chris Elliot, spanning his career from when he started on Letterman all the way to his most recent project, Eagleheart.

On his spectacular, often misunderstood Fox television show Get a Life:

What kind of notes were you getting from the network on Get a Life? Or did they just ignore you?
No, they gave us notes — an incredible amount of notes. On everything. Like I said, it wasn’t the show they wanted. Believe it or not, I remember them saying when I was first in talks with them that they were looking for a Cosby kind of show. Even though Married With Children was on, and they had In Living Color on — these really cool, edgy shows. I think they were kind of hoping that I would somehow be the classiness that they didn’t feel like they had or something. And then we gave them this 30-year-old guy living in a garage in his parents’ house. But their notes always reflected the fact that they still wanted the show to be grounded in reality. There were notes wanting a real moment between me and my dad that the audience believed. Which, if you know Get a Life, that’s so not that show. And they were persistent with notes like that. The only way we could respond to them was to go, “Okay, there’s a moment here.” And we would put a moment in — and then take it away with the next line. Like, we’d put a hug between me and my dad in, and then the next line he’d call me an idiot or something. So that you’d realize we were making fun of that kind of moment, because there was no other way to do it. But, yeah, there were, like, constant notes.
I've been an Elliot fan since those early Letterman days; heck I braved a snow storm to make it to opening night of Cabin Boy. But I also know his style is not for everyone. So, while I enjoyed the first episode of Eagleheart, I can understand if some people might not. It's absurd humor, and not grounded in reality whatsoever. If you can get past that, you'll like it.

Uncle Benon - the Movie!

If you're going just by the narrator, this is quite possibly the most exciting movie ever. From Uganda, I present to you...The Return of Uncle Benon!

Blood, violence, exploding heads, people jumping into other people (that really came out of nowhere), and martial arts. I really wish I lived in Uganda so I could see this.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Bad National Anthem Renditions

Sure, Christina Aguilera's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner was mangled a bit. But it was nowhere near the worst. Here's a list of some truly terrible versions. Yes, the Lewis version is there.

I only wish the clip included Charlie Steiner's (at the time an anchor on ESPN) reaction, which makes it about a billion times funnier, tagging the song with the line, "...Francis Scott Off Key."

Monday, February 7, 2011

Burt Reynolds Talking Football

Burt Reynolds...Football...Burt Reynolds explaining football. I'm willing to bet you're not going to anything much better than this on the Internet today.

RIP Gary Moore

Gary Moore, guitarist for Thin Lizzy passed away yesterday. You more or less probably know Thin Lizzy for Boys are Back in Town...

But I will always love them for Jailbreak...

I mean, c'mon. Anyone who says they don't like that video is stupid.

Rest in peace Mr. Moore.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Amish Milk Smugglers

If you told me yesterday that I'd be reading about Amish Milk Smugglers this morning, I A. Would have hugged you, because seriously, that sounds awesome, but also B. wouldn't have believed you because that sounds ridiculous.

But lo and behold here comes The Daily with the chilling expose...

But he wasn’t selling them anything they planned to smoke, snort or inject. Rather, he was giving them their once-a-month fix of raw milk — an unpasteurized product banned outright in 12 states and denounced by the FDA as a public health hazard, but beloved by a small but growing number of devotees who tout both its health benefits and its flavor.

I love the idea that people are acting like junkies for their raw milk fix!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Your Favorite TV Shows...Miniaturized!

Pretty cool video depicting famous tv shows (though I don't see how Dirty Sexy Money got in there) miniaturized. Actually, if I had to guess, I think this is a promo for some foreign television show that grabbed up some American repeats. Enjoy!

Podcast 13.01 – Wang Oscar Frazier

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on you.  Seriously, I’m not taking the fall for this.

What was I talking about? Oh yes, we done did it again.

We squeezed out another steaming pile of podcast.  Roll around in it and as we like to say in the biz, enjoy yourself.  Just don’t get all demanding and expect us to have seen the Oscar-nominated movies we wax rhapsodically about.

Also, if you’re a dude and bored of euphemisms for, then this podcast came along at EXACTLY the right time.

After the jump a bunch of tangentially related ephemera.

If you aren’t already subscribed, search iTunes for “Popcorn Trick” or click here.

  • Intro music:

  • Bumper music:

  • My “The Best” is the NotWaltFrazier Twitter account that may only amuse me. But it amuses me A LOT.
    • The obvious pairing of Walt Frazier with Norm Crosby to sell light beer. Also, I think the 3rd actor is the nerdy guy from Bachelor Party who negotiated with the pimp.

    • A slightly more urban take on Walt “Clyde” Frazier

  • Goose’s “The Best” was Matt Taibbi’s “Griftopia”.  Here’s a clip of him shilling another book on The Daily Show.
    The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
    Matt Taibbi
    Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> The Daily Show on Facebook
  • Oscars
    • The Fighter is the only Oscar movie I’ve seen so far, and I loved Melissa Leo’s performance in it. So here is her slightly nutty acceptance speech from The even nuttier Golden Globes:

    • And her getting hit on, HARD, SORTA, by Ned Beatty in her younger days on Homicide:

    • Thankfully neither of us saw this video of penis names set to the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire”

    • This is part of the very NSFW clip from Havoc that James Franco better make reference to on Oscar night.
    • Given the chance to narrowly target one potential listener, Goose chose Obama (or “that guy in Egypt”). I chose Alison Brie. You tell me who made the right call:

    • Weird that Goose didn’t want this kind of scene to potentially break out if we recorded around the piano:

      Or it could get cleverly raunchy like this scene:

    • This clip mentions “penis”, but doesn’t show his leg. Hmmm….

    • John Goodman does what he does best. Sing.

    • Anne Heche her first (saucy) scene on Another World with a “That Guy” character actor,

    Wednesday, February 2, 2011

    Awesome Simpsons Easter Egg

    This is pretty cool. Apparently the McBain movie clips, from various older Simpsons episodes, actually made an entire movie. Well, a 4 minute movie with a plot and everything. Check it out:
    And while I love McBain, my favorite cop/action hero parody from the Simpsons will always be McGarnagle...

    Tuesday, February 1, 2011

    Horror Movie Facial

    If you never thought there was a product that rejuvenated your skin AND turned you into a horror movie monster, then you were wrong!