Anyway, with Cline already posting his pick yet again in a comments section somewhere on the site, an act tantamount to spitting in readers' faces, since he can't be bothered with, you know, tapping out a couple paragraphs, I again will come in and save the day with some form of mediocre entertainment to get you through at least the next 45 seconds. So you have at least that. What you Cline defenders cling to at night I'll have no idea, and I don't want to know. I mistakenly dabbled in that trade in some other columns, and quickly ordered the Silkwood showerhead to cleanse my body.
Anyway, enough about that. On the flip side - the picks!
This week, I've chosen to link to some local news of each town, and see if there's any correlation between that and how the NFL teams are performing.
As always, picks are CAPITALIZED and bold.
Cincinnati @ PITTSBURGH -8.5
In Pittsburgh, we have the lovely Trina Orlando (hey, it's Pittsburgh) giving us the scoop on the latest Bingo scam that's been rocking the yellow and black town., while Cincinnati welcomes three Cheetah cubs to the world.
I don't know about you, but cheetah cubs seem like they're going to be the talk of the town. And with the Bengals playing like cheetah cubs, I'm going with Pittsburgh to control the ball in some rough weather and cover the double digit spread.
Stop back tomorrow for the rest of the picks.
Picks for Sunday's games below...
Houston @ CLEVELAND -1
It's cold up here. Cold as a witch's tit as my 9th grade history teacher was fond of saying. I'm a big proponent of southern teams getting a little wonky in the cold, so I'll take the Browns.
San Francisco @ DALLAS -6
For whatever reason, people have been writing off Dallas recently. This is the same team that many picked to go to the Superbowl! See, that's kind of my entire point with making these picks - no one has any clue how a season is going to go. It's near impossible to pick the Superbowl winner before the season, so why bother? Things that flare up in the middle of the season have a way of not becoming an issue by the end of the season and vice versa. Dallas somehow seems like they've righted the ship - at least for this week, so I'm going with them.
TAMPA BAY -7 @ Detroit
I gotta think if Detroit is going to come out for any game, it's going to be the one on Thanksgiving. At least I hope it's that one, making this a lame duck performance by them. We'll see.
Jets @ TENNESSEE -1
I've been hearing some chatter tis week about how the Jets are looking frisky, after beating the Patriots. Sure it was a good win, but everyone realizes the Patriots aren't the 2007 Patriots, right? Tennessee doesn't feel like they should be undefeated, but they are, so you have to give them credit. I will ride that rocket until they get knocked off. I just don't see the Jets being the ones to do it - especially in Tennessee.
Buffalo -5 @ KANSAS CITY
Flip a coin on this one.
Chicago -4.5 @ ST. LOUIS
Wow are some of these games bad. I guess Chicago is still fighting for the division title, but really. I'd rather eat my own feces than have to watch this game. Figuratively speaking of course.
New England @ MIAMI -1.5
If Miami has proven anything to us in the past few weeks, it's that they have no idea how to play as a favorite. I still like to think Belichek is still a decent coach, and even though he's hated by the entire league, I think he wins here.
Minnesota @ JACKSONVILLE PK
Color me stupid for staying on the Jacksonville bandwagon.
PHILADELPHIA @ Baltimore -2.5
Philly has to win here convincingly after last week's performance or it's pack it up time and thanks for nothing. Had the Phillies not won the world series, the city would be burning right now. Speaking of the Phillies winning the world series...
OAKLAND @ Denver -8.5
Oakland has shown me nothing to suggest it will cover, which is why I'm picking them probably to win.
CAROLINA @ Atlanta PK
This is the kind of Carolina team that sneaks into the Superbowl to make it a snoozefest. Until then however, I say enjoy the ride. I'll keep asking Atlanta to prove it before I take them against a good team.
GIANTS @ Arizona +6.5
I want to take the Cardinals so much, but I just can't do it. In the past few weeks they've become the experts' boutique pick, with talk or Warner being the league MVP. But the Giants just pound you into submission, and I wouldn't be surprised if they knocked Warner out of this game and rolled to a win.
WASHINGTON @ Seattle +3
INDIANAPOLIS -4 @ San Diego
Everyone talks about the job Belichek is doing; what about the job Dungy has done?
GREEN BAY @ New Orleans -1.5
Isn't Favre from down around here? He's going to be charged up to play down there, and probably nought a lot of tickets for family and friends to see him maybe this one last time. What? Favre doesn't play for Green Bay anymore? When did this happen? Why didn't I hear about it? You'd think they'd cover it more. Oh well. I already bolded Green Bay.