The Best Tweets of the week 7/24 - 7/31

Every week I go back and post my favorite tweets I got during the preceding week. Want to be included in the lunacy? Follow me and be funny, interesting, or threatening! As always, here are the rules:

• I skew toward the amusing
• I won't publicize anyone's stuff if they are locked unless they give me permission (the KChop rule)
• @ replies rarely get on here unless their self explanatory and don't need set up
• I do love me the setup and punchline stuff, but if they span over multiple tweets, I'm not inclined to include them.
• Diplo is immune to any of these rules (and now so is Yoko Ono).

Ok, let's go to the tweets...



JephKelley Katy Perry just sang on The Today Show. She has the voice of an angel. ...Having its larynx ripped out by a zombie.

kolchak I guess syfy settled on "imagine greater" as a slogan because "imagine shitty B-movies about giant crocodiles and rock monsters" didn't fit.

theotisjones i bet you skeletor takes the threat of geting skull-fucked more serious than any other megalomanical villian.

adamisacson I'm still using one of those razors with only the three blades. So of course I look like a hobo today.

jdickerson I hadn't checked my horoscope but there it is plain as day: tonight you will have 6 angry trombones and a drum set under your office window.

clubtrillion In case you cared (and why would you?), my plans for the Bachelorette finale tonight include not watching the Bachelorette finale tonight.

therealcherilyn FYI there isn't any golden pot of pot at the end of the rainbow. that dorothy is a lying fucking twat.

BlueLanugo There's sad and then there's Rite-Aid-Manager sad.

JephKelley Nothing about a bad day that a burrito can't fix. God Bless Mexico or Spain or wherever this baby-sized bastard in front of me originated.

davio1962 I do get pleasure from vacuuming up the occasional bug when cleaning the basement. Only kidding. I don’t vacuum. Or clean the basement.

WhatCandyThinks I’m thinking that if you are waiting for Jesus, you should be hiding those crosses before the sight of them scares him back to death again.

rbender Tonight I saw "Harry Potter and the Two Hours of Awkward Teen Sexual Frustration".

mookiewilson86 First Tony Bernazard, now Omar Minaya's challenged someone to a fight? The Mets have become West Side Story. Only much, much, much, gayer.

xrayedman The bluebird of hapiness left me some time ago. The chicken of despair is now my constant companion.

AndyD215 There's been a fruit fly flying around my room for two weeks. I've named him "asshole".

FriedWords Not sure my wife appreciates my new Dukes of Hazzard move where I freeze right before climax & say, "How the boys gonna get outta this one?"

lefauxfrog I like to wear t-shirts adorned with photos of people wearing t-shirts ironically.

Rayke The thing about my apartment building being littered with ducks and hobos is that dropping a single piece of bread makes for blood-sport.

blueeyeddeb Coworker to me: Where did you get the coconut M & M's, the store? Me: No, I planted seeds. She didn't laugh as much as I thought she would.

davio1962 There are two kinds of people in this world. One that can maintain their train of thought

xrayedman Thinking back on it, Smell ya later poop-sicle was probably not the best way to end that conference call.

DougBeatty Things I think about while driving: Did Weird Al already make an Ikea joke song for "The Sweetest Thing"? What rhymes with Allen Wrench?

xrayedman As the 2 boys crawled home bruised and battered they had learned a lesson--drinking milk straight from the cow was harder than it sounded

michaelianblack Devastated that Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush broke up before I could popularize my nickname for them: Rimmy Karbushian.

NotGiamatti On the way home, Billy Squire's "Lonely Is the Night" came on the radio. I had forgotten that song existed. I will never forgive you , WYSP.

amynicole21 Oreos and rum & coke for dinner. Sometimes it's not completely horrible being a grownup.

keithwade Do not like to hear about major storms and power outages back home while on vacation. Hard to enjoy myself not knowing if my DVR is working.

Kathy_L Time for a workout. I'm going to sweat like Kirstie Alley in a room full of whiskey and crumb cakes.

Kathy_L Just killed an ant that I probably could have counted as a dependent on my taxes based on its size. I guess it's time for an exterminator.

xrayedman A great example to that American can-do spirit is the ability of the people with some of the the lowest IQs on the planet to cook meth.

sherriva I was told by my son that the Journey song I was listening to was "elderly music" so I traded him in for a puppy.

diplo I'm wearin a cowboy hat ridin a wild boar thru oahu

adamisacson If you hear them simultaneously, Coldplay and my voicemail sound like an overwrought concept album about a guy who misses deadlines.

xrayedman Got stuck behind a log truck on a 2 lane road in a thunderstorm. To pass the time we played the "how many ways can we die" game.

FriedWords My 3 yr old's nose keeps bleeding. Worried he may actually be a vampire with a cold, which doesn't bode well for the height of my genitals.

blaine23 Held the elevator for unappreciative ladies who took forever to cross the lobby. I believe I've earned enough karma to murder with impunity.

yokoono All of us are 90% water. Make an effort to clean that water and keep it clean, so it will be an oasis for yourself and for the world.

chucknoritz When I woke up this banana was lodged in my ear and the other end was coming out of my ass! It's 2 different bananas? Oh man, you got me!

mmmeghan Eating pizza, watching the Dark Knight, looking at porn...you know, typical work day stuff.

JephKelley Some days, you're the windshield. Others, the bug. Unless you're a bug from Starship Troopers, which would frigging wreck a windshield.

jimgaffigan I was going to eat popcorn but to save time I just rammed things in between my teeth.

kolchak Logging onto facebook. I've been dying to see my friends lists of top 5 cars all day.

diplo http://twitpic.com/c7gxt - i just seen this out side my hotel in hawaii...!! yuk!!

kolchak And just think, if all of our doctors were like Patch Adams, we'd have a lot of doctor murdering incidents.

hendge I can't believe Pablo Sandoval is a 3rd baseman. He looks like he ate the 3rd baseman. Kung Fu Panda indeed. (I hate that nickname).

nhmagpie “Chilling out” in Japanese is only disemboweling & slicing off 3 people's heads. If you then laugh, it's considered casual Friday.

FriedWordsMy 3 year-old thought it'd be funny to poke his mom in the ass with a stick. "Trust me son, mommy really doesn't like that."

Links of Interest 7/31

A look at Thomas Pynchon’s latest novel.

The craziness that goes on in airports. Do we really want to know?

Wow – trailer for the new Coen Brothers movie, “A Serious Man.” Certainly looks like something coming from their world. The only issue I had with it was the list of Coen Brothers movies it includes at the end. Would you really include “Burn After Reading” with the other heavy hitters on that list? I mean, I have no problem with them cleaning their palate with something silly like that after the heavy “No Country for Old Men.” I’m sure the set was light and breezy. But c’mon – it doesn’t belong up there with their knockouts!

I’m going to be honest with you. The biggest surprise of this interview? That the Amazing Kreskin was still alive.

I’m fairly certain I could never be an air traffic controller. Even with the potential to sleep with Angelina Jolie.

This season of Curb Your Enthusiasm should be interesting, if you’re a Seinfeld fan.

A current look at the state of food allergies.

In the market for an inflatable bondage chair? Amazon has got you covered.

Music magazines are dying. Here’s why.

Oh the crazy things you’ll find with Google Maps.

Links of Interest 7/30

Interview with Judd Apatow.

Beaches you want to cross off your summer excursion list.

Interview with Dave Mustaine.

Computer hackers all grown up.

So Screech has a tell all book in the works.

How can a list about cannibalism not include the soccer team that crashed in the Andes?

Some of it’s cruel, most of it’s funny – guy replies to ads he finds on the Internet.

Cocktails are making a comeback. Though they never left the Town House.

The moral of this story? Don’t become a sex offender.

The last days of Bush and Cheney.

Links of Interest 7/29

If you haven’t seen this movie, you really should rent it. Especially before the crappy Nicholas Cage remake comes out, because I’m sure it won’t go as far as the original.

Want a list of songs NPR thinks are the best of 2009 so far?

Allegedly, these pickup lines were actually uttered, without irony on a random Saturday night in a bar in Northern New Jersey.

Some might say these underwater statues are cool; I’m going with creepy.

Crazy things left in hotel rooms.

So where exactly was Ghengis Khan buried?

Interview with Somali pirate.

Ever care what happened to the cast of Night Court? (I know Larroquette just got mowed down in The Storm on NBC Sunday night).

Environmental messes are a bitch.

So this is what Pluto looks like.

Links of Interest 7/28

The New Yorker reviews “Funny People.”

The New Yorker also reviews the Kindle.

Hot Tub Time Machine. That title is not shitty, that title is genius!

Not sure I really want a list of the creepiest guys on youtube, but here you go. I’ll be honest. I’m mildly surprised I don’t know any of them.

Who doesn’t love a good television test pattern?

Greatest actor of his generation…John Cazale.

10 years ago Forbes wondered what computers would be like in 2010. What did they get right?

Now this guy is off the grid.

Uranium mining and the Navaho.

What if time were actually slowing down?

The Best Tweets of the week 7/17 - 7/24

Every week I go back and post my favorite tweets I got during the preceding week. Want to be included in the lunacy? Follow me and be funny, interesting, or threatening! As always, here are the rules:

• I skew toward the amusing
• I won't publicize anyone's stuff if they are locked unless they give me permission (the KChop rule)
• @ replies rarely get on here unless their self explanatory and don't need set up
• I do love me the setup and punchline stuff, but if they span over multiple tweets, I'm not inclined to include them.
• Diplo is immune to any of these rules (and now so is Yoko Ono).

Ok, let's go to the tweets...



Kathy_L Changing my iPhone email signature to: Sent from my castle of holy pretentiousness

Petherwin I’ve had to buy some roomier trousers. Not because I’m putting on weight, but because of this bloody Viagra.

cellebelle watching dude push his junk against the chips rack at subway is making me consider the apple slices. thx for keeping me healthy, gross kid!

amelish it's becoming increasingly clear that i bought a bar of chocolate, placed it on the roof of my car, and drove away. some pigeon is ecstatic.

omytodd weird ass dreams last night. that's what i get for wearing my plastic viking helmet to bed.

diplo I interviewed kraftwerk once and they told me their royalties from planet rock were lost somewhere in the black forest - we r here searching

michaelianblack Watermelon is so much better than cantaloupe it's not even a contest. FUCK YOU CANTALOUPE!

FriedWords The rainbow was amazing. But it turns out that leprechaun was just a small homeless man. And I really regret him showing me his pot of gold.

tj Liquor before beer, never fear; Beer before liquor, never sicker; That last bit of scotch after brushing your teeth, *horribly* bad idea.

blaine23 The first rule of Yacht Club is no minorities.

Kathy_L Flight attendant says a lapchild will get a small life vest in a water landing. Note to self: Start referring to Macbook as "lapchild."

Rayke I feel like your early twenties are a discovery period. Example: I just discovered that I can piss at a urinal using *no* hands.

kolchak The great thing about being unemployed is did you know there are 230 ceiling tiles in my basement?

slag_mag Fell asleep in a hammock on Sunday afternoon- pretty Norman Rockwell, except for the smoking a bunch of opium part.

saraschaefer1 (I'm gonna record an album where I replace the word "love" with "dumb." ) track 2 = Dumb Shack

FriedWords If a kid points at a cloud & says "Look a bunny!" You should point at the next one & say "Look, a stupid kid who thinks a cloud is a bunny!"

Jim_Hamilton If you think of fingerprinting as finger painting, getting arrested is kind of fun.

Jim_Hamilton Alanis Morisette wrote You Oughta Know about Dave Coulier. She wrote no song about Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds is lamer than Dave Coulier.

Jim_Hamilton I'm still trying to get Alanis Morissette to go down on me in a theater, but I don't know *slime* if it's going to happen.

davio1962 Of course I'm naked--it's a shower isn't it? Well, as long as I'm here, I might as well hug the bride-to-be.

tj 1) Wake up 2) Brush teeth 3) Feed fish 4) Take meds 5) Notice pill in fishbowl & bad taste in mouth & wonder if I screwed up 3&4. Again.

kolchak Rosie O'Donnel just turned down a dessert on Kathy Griffin's show. I'll be on the front lawn awaiting the four horsemen.

westoflondon If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, then my illegal logging business is a success.

Rayke Hot Barista saw me itch my eye with glaze on my finger and then cry & pour coffee in my eye to wash it. LADIES: SET PHASERS TO "STUNNING".

blaine23 Things found in Kenny Loggins' beard: Danger Zone sign. Jim Messina. Footloose 2: Feetlooser script. Sweet love flowing almost every night.

AndeeD Trying Wasabi & Soy Sauce almonds. First bite seemed vaguely reminiscent of untended goldfish aquarium.

paulfeig I thought I was buying a bag of Pirate's Booty but accidentally grabbed Pirate's Doody. Seriously, why in the eff would they even sell that?

isplotchy I think most people would be horrified to know that playing Mob Wars on Facebook actually results in people getting killed.

Jim_Hamilton Unfortunately, more than her laugh was contagious.

mmmeghan I need to get album frames this week. This Nelly album is begging to be hung over the toilet.

Jim_Hamilton If it's true that you've had sex with everyone your partner's had sex with, chances are pretty good you've had sex with Scott Baio.

artichoked I asked my husband what our strategy was going into a car dealership: "I'm going to go on a test drive, push the guy out & drive off."

mookiewilson86 I just saw that Lebron James sex tape. All it is is a sweaty black dude dunking over him? WTF?

brendancollins If I see another one of those stupid G-Force commercials I'm seriously gonna poop in someone's hand.

isplotchy Speaking of, if someone A) makes me a costume and B) gives me $50 I will attend a Halloween party as Slave Leia. (note: I'm not a woman)

Links of Interest 7/24

A rant about the shuffle mode on the iPod.

What the internet was invented for. 80 rock and roll saxophone solos reviewed.

Romance novelists are necessarily who you think they are.

3 possible scenarios here: 1. Coincidence. 2. Creators of Wall-E listenend to The Wall a lot and tweaked some stuff to sync things up here and there. 3. Pink Floyd invented a time machine, traveled to 2008, watched Wall-E, stole a copy, took it back to 1979, wrote The Wall around it, hid their invention of the time machine and waited 29 years for everyone to catch up and hear their brilliance.

Thought it was a bad year for movies? You haven’t seen anything yet.

Lines you should probably stay away from during a job interview.

5 apocalyptic scenarios to cheer up your Friday.

As we broadcast television , it goes out into space. See how far and what our space overlords can currently watch.

For the alcoholics out there.

Ever wonder about how Dune influenced Star Wars? I dare you to read this.

Awesome 360 degree panoramic photo.

Links of Interest 7/23

Interview with Kevin Spacey.

Does MTV’s “16 and Pregnant” get it right? This former pregnant 16 year old tells us.

More fast food taste tests.

Awesome close up volcano photos – even Harry Dalton would be impressed. A little.

Pictures of the eclipse that was pretty much only visible in the Far East. (Quick aside: Do people still refer to Japan/China et al as the Far East?)

Anyone want their own personal submarine?

Cheap ways to turn a nice evening into a night of boom boom.

Sure, these Japanese commercials are crazy, but why not revisit this list of Japanese commercials as well? There’s more and one shows a really stupid Meg Ryan.

A movie monster size comparison chart.

Your enjoyment of this article depends on where you stand on Crocs.

A google map that pinpoints locations where famous album covers were photographed.

Links of Interest 7/22

Those 2 AM calls to the “party lines” you don’t think anyone knows about? The government is totally on to you.

Yeah, that’s right – Sugar Ray has a new album coming out.

I’m not sure how much we appreciate how awesome the Apollo 11 moon landing was. Here are some reasons why we should.

Grant Morrison is an insane comic book writer. And that’s saying something.

A look at what will be at this year’s Comic Con.

An interview with Dave Eggers.

Cover songs that match their original. On the Devo one, I guess I’m turning in my hipster ID, because I am not a fan of it at all. To me, it’s a novelty that belongs on a compilation of comedy songs. And as for Walk This Way…I don’t think I would classify the Run DMC version as a cover. More of a reimagining. Especially since the original artist (Aerosmith) is involved.

Traveling to the bottom – the very bottom – of the ocean.

I thought there was something sketchy about that Apple company.

The complex city that is Venice, and the challenges it is facing.

Links of Interest 7/21

Well, if nothing else, Ayn Rand is polarizing. Not to these celebrities, but still, I think it’s safe to say she’s polarizing.

Being a step above an extra on a television soap opera.

Comic books that some suggest are “unfilmable.”

Movie nerd villains. I love that Kent was included.

A look at Michiu Kaku, the man tying string theory in knots.

It’s good to be larger than insects.

Was Andrew Jackson a badass president? This list seems to think so.

Does the Chicago Bulls logo subvertly condone a future robot uprising?

And you thought Andrew Jackson was a badass.

Links of Interest 7/20

Keeping Nuclear weapons safe.

40 years ago NASA landed on the moon. Here’s a look at what they have in store for the future.

How could fried chicken make this list? You can eat it one handed!

I’d suggest there are probably more Lost mysteries, but this is a start.

I’m a sucker for postmodern reads (I’m currently sloshing through a terrible one) so I’m definitely interested in this list.

I’d argue that the Beach Boys Kokomo is nowhere near the awesomness of the movie Cocktail, but that’s subjective (although if the clip above doesn't convince than I don't know what to tell you). Check out 9 other songs that are better than the movies they came from here.

Here’s a fairly cool picture of a lightning strike.

A profile of Jack Vance, one of the best sci-fi writers out there.

Microsoft and Google are starting to ramp up the ugly against one another.

What’s it like inside the offices of Twitter?

The Best Tweets of the week 7/10 - 7/17

Every week I go back and post my favorite tweets I got during the preceding week. Want to be included in the lunacy? Follow me and be funny, interesting, or threatening! As always, here are the rules:

• I skew toward the amusing
• I won't publicize anyone's stuff if they are locked unless they give me permission (the KChop rule)
• @ replies rarely get on here unless their self explanatory and don't need set up
• I do love me the setup and punchline stuff, but if they span over multiple tweets, I'm not inclined to include them.
• Diplo is immune to any of these rules (and now so is Yoko Ono).

Ok, let's go to the tweets...



JephKelley In my life, I've made many bad decisions. Getting the sausage and eggs at the gas station's deli counter this morning ranks near the top.

DoucheLarue im starting to become upset by the lack of explosions and helicoptors on morning television. Im looking at you "the view."

Kathy_L Dear U.S. Gov't, thanks for buying GM. I will take my 2009 tax refund in the form of a Camaro. You may deposit it directly on my driveway.

CranberryPerson Today has taught me that the perfect number of taquitos to consume before running is somewhere in the "fewer than nine" range.

Jim_HamiltonTurns out Amway frowns on virgin sacrifice. Murder, they called it. I'd be in real trouble if I wasn't also a member of Skull & Bones.

Aimee_B_Loved I just saw Transformers 2. How the hell did Michael Bay make an explosion explode?

kolchak Hi. I'm a Mac. And I'm a PC. And while we film these commercials, Linux bangs our wives.

kolchak You write ONE letter to Maria Sharapova about how you take lots of shots with your powercock and suddenly the law is involved.

CourtneyReimer Finally got around to changing the names of all my "Santogold" songs to "Santigold." My weekend chores are done; let the Bacchanalia begin.

ScottAukerman Man in line is telling his daughter the plot to every Toonces SNL sketch he can remember. Whoever wrote those: you have touched lives.

CranberryPerson Wife brought me ice water while I was mowing. SOMEONE'S angling for a few extra minutes of platonic, fully dressed snuggling tonight!

CcSteff Jim's hair can only be described as "the dad from My Two Dads that wasn't Paul Reiser."

Jim_Hamilton There should be a law that bans eating ice cream sandwiches while driving. Oh boy, I hit a bunch of people back there.

diplo I can't wait to have children so I can stop making shitty decisions like doing dmt @ a gated community pool @ 4am last night

davio1962 Tourism Guide: Delaware's 2 biggest contributions to the US GNP are NASCAR fumes & cholesterol.

dragonboysuede You call it tinkling in the ocean, i call it letting the starfish know there's a new sheriff in town.

diplo my plane was diverted from Spain to JFK cause the flux capaciter broke over bermuda and theyre playing The Cars.."whos gonna drive you home"

davio1962 "So we meet again Mr. Bond" has no effect--funny or otherwise--when uttered to your wife in bed 1st thing in the morning.

trumpetcake The way my beard is growing I'm not just rubenesque anymore, I'm Rick Rubinesque.

cubicle2 Based upon the variety of liquids that enter my body, I'm always disappointed that my urine isn't a more exciting color.

GodAwfulBastard I'll always sort of hate my dad for not having the last name "Feelgood".

Rayke So apparently it's illegal to ask the 14-year-old snowcone girl for "extra vodka". Our date for next weekend is totally off.

JephKelley Hey guy with the NJOY KDS plates: I'll assume you mean in the normal way and not the whoa-what-a-pretty-creepy-license-plate-way.

adamisacson My funnel cake had so much powdered sugar, I look like I spent the afternoon with Lindsay Lohan and Tony Montana.

GhostPanther "Suck it Russia! I'm king dick of this cheese rock!" Alternate moon landing statement considered by NASA for Neil Armstrong.

CourtneyReimer I'm facing a dilemma of Sophie's Choicesque proportions: use the festering Port-A-Potty or pee my pants. I'm leaning toward the latter.

CranberryPerson Nice to be in a restaurant classy enough to realize there was more to Europe than "The Final Countdown."

cubicle2 Nobody power slides a family sedan into a drive-thru lane like this motherfucker. That Ronald McDonald statue was a casualty of awesome.

diplo Amsterdam everything smells like honeysuckle.. Is it a terrorist attack? Feelin the double aa's too. Baalin'

michaelianblack New idea for an animal: Pegapotamus, which is a winged hippopotamus. Would make adorable stuffed animals and terrifying poops.

kolchak Best part of the Hannah Montana movie was that there wasn't an undercover cop in the back row of the theater with me.

Petherwin A lifetime of watching Mick Jagger dancing is etched on Keith Richards’s face.

blaine23 I experienced unplanned sexual tension at Family Dollar when Let's Get It On cued up right as I approached the counter with my shower gel.

Jessabelle2o7 What's with all the new TV shows about sassy, know-it-all nurses? I want my nurse to know her place -- keeping my doctor sexually satisfied!

mookiewilson86 Hey Mets fans! Don't forget to tune in later to watch all your favorites compete in the Inning Ending Double Play Derby.

JephKelley Forgot I had Toaster Strudel in the freezer as the only time I open it is for vodka or to talk to/mock my formerly annoying neighbor's head.

CcSteff "It wasn't my best handjob, but it was the most memorable. For us and everyone else in the campground." That's how I avoid small talk.

rbender Philly Fun Fact: People put pennies on Ben Franklin's grave so he can afford whores in the afterlife.

artichoked Last night is a blur of football, beer & whipped cream bikinis. Translation: I got drunk & watched Varsity Blues in a whip cream bikini.

nottjmiller Dear dishrag: I know what you're thinking...I'm not a face towel. Yes you are. At 7am you are...

mtmodular The name Sotomayor always makes me think "Sodamayor". And then I think "Whats so bad about being the Mayor of Soda?" The answer: Nothing.

Jim_Hamilton It's like you can't even wink in a shady massage parlor without getting a handjob anymore.

JeeNeeBee THIS JUST IN: The Somali pirates have all gone home and resumed their positions at the Pirates of the Caribbean theme park ride.

keithwade I now have 3 speeds at which I move: Normal, caffeine-boosted, and "hey, there's a free ice cream party in the break room."

Jim_Hamilton A night of drunken soul-searching has only confirmed that my soul is not located on the floor between the toilet and the tub.

keithwade My son is so sensitive about people calling him names recently. It's like I don't even know little Mr. Poopyhead Lumpypants anymore.

clubtrillion The 5-10 seconds between realizing I have to sneeze and actually sneezing is the most exhilirating part of any given day for me.

FilmDrunk DICK WOLF is an AWESOME NAME but an AWESOMER PROFESSION.

Links of Interest 7/17

Wes Anderson’s perfect mix tape?

One shot of a really large aquarium.

Looks like Russia is trying to get the jump on getting to Mars.

What once was impossible to listen to is now easy to find on the Internet.

Mysterious glowing clouds.

Emmy nominations are out. See what got snubbed.

College pranks are always good for a chuckle.

Real life spy exploits that kick ass.

I know the Mythbusters did it, but now National Geogrpahic is doing it – busting the fake moon landing conspiracies.

Huge blob of goo floats past Alaska. Next thing you know, some company is going to bottle it, and sell it, where it will then control our minds and bodies and plenty of terrible acting. (I hope you appreciate that reference).

Links of Interest 7/16

The gyro.

Anyone interested in Thomas Pynchon’s new book cover?

A deeper look into that guy’s lawsuit against Lost.

P.J. O’Rourke has a new book out. Here’s an interview with him.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize this movie is going to be bad. Still, I’m a little sad.

Kottke lays out step-by-step instructions how to read Infinite Jest.

The more unusual state fair foods.

In the world of marine biology in this lagoon, who’s talking to who?

An ode to Wimbledon.



Is there not anything we can’t learn from Dante’s Peak?

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/50807692.html

Links of Interest 7/15

A look back at the movie Bad Boys.

Star Wars characters that dropped the ball.

Does this guy has a point, or elaborate set up for the next season? It does share some 70s similarities. I’m going with the latter.

For fans of the State, an interview with the Michaels (Ian Black and Showalter) about their new show.

Are these the top 25 characters of Harry Potter? I couldn’t tell you.

Is there good food at the Cheesecake Factory?

Anyone else have a mild fantasy about completely disappearing? No? Carry on then.

News like this has to make planets like Neptune giddy with anticpation.

Every stop to really think about the platypus? The thing is weird.

Photography of the KKK. Kinda chilling when the first show is of a 14 or so year old boy donning the robes.

Top Chef: Vegas preview

With news of the new Top Chef season starting in August, I couldn't be happier. Sure, Top Chef Masters is decent, but it's no substitution for the original. I love the heightened ability and reverence everyone pays to one another, but hate the format. It seems every chef with any amount of personality (save Rick Bayless who made it through) gets trounced. So, while I'll continue to watch, all it's really doing is getting me excited for the big dog.

Over at Bravo, they have posted bios for all the chefs competing in season 6, so I figured why not take a look at them, dust off my handicapping skills and see what I get right and wrong based on appearance, and 50 words of copy. I briefly thought about a Top Chef pool, and I still may do it, but I also know there are sites out there that spoil the results and I didn't want to get into the world of Tim Donaghy. Maybe if there's enough interest, I'll set something up. Anyway - onto the chefs...



After last season, it seems the producers stepped up their search and brought in some good talent. Looks like a lot of these chefs have some great experience, which should make this season a great one!

In my handicapping, I am including odds for winning, and odds for being the first chef eliminated. Enjoy!

Ron Duprat

Odds of winning: 10-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 100-1

Ron appears to have a lot of personality, which will keep him on the show for awhile. No, this isn't any conspiracy theory suggesting producers have a say in who stays and who goes; it simply means personality is a great trait for a chef and for Ron I think it will help him shine. Another great little tidbit that I've gleaned from his bio - he enjoys making flourless cake, which means he has at least one dessert recipe - something no chef should be without on this show.

As for winning, I think he might be too bold and adventurous, which will hurt him in the later stages. Remember, the judges are looking first and foremost for perfectly executed dishes.

Robin Leventhal

Odds of winning: 25-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 8-1

Robin is a tough one to handicap. She's self taught and it doesn't look like she's currently cooking anywhere (professionally). She lists as one of her favorite summer recipes as "Grilled Corn and Avocado Salad with a great piece of fish or meat." Really? You couldn't name the fish or meat? Red flag. Of course, her artist background could really come into play and she could take a Carla-like run to the finals.

Preeti Mistry

Odds of winning: 8-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 40-1

With a name like that, how can you go against her? Well, her Google chef experience might not help her too much, but her formal training at Le Cordon Bleu certainly will. Not to mention one of her strengths is sauces. That can take a chef a long way.

Michael Voltaggio

Odds of winning: 7-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 20-1

He looks like an 80s teen movie villain which is probably exactly what Top Chef wants. Still young, his appearance comes off as cocky as well. Could be the bad guy in the kitchen everyone respects and hates. Or could fall flat on his face and go down in a blaze of explosive ranting about how the judges don't get him and his style. He definitely appears to have the awards hardware to back up his style.

Michael Isabella

Odds of winning: 30-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 8-1

Though I love the simplicity of the ingredients he always has on hand, I'm a little wary about his specific greek style. I'm sure he makes excellent food, and I'm sure he has a more rounded background in food, but sometimes chefs trying to shoehorn their style into s challenge that has nothing to do with it leads to disaster. But don't you fret, his Steve Guttenberg looks will definitely have me rooting for him. Because I love Police Academy. And Young Doctors in Love. Not Cocoon so much, but that had to do with a bare chested Wilford Brimly that scarred my childhood. Where were we?

Mattin Noblia

Odds of winning: 20-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 6-1

Admit it, you thought the scarf was a dead giveaway that he was gay. Nope. Unless he wants to eat dinner with Jessica Alba to go over...[insert vulgar joke here]. He's French, and Top Chef seemed to have an affinity for the foreign chefs last year, I'm thinking this year they uniqueness will have worn off. This guy simply looks happy to be here.

Laurine Wickett

Odds of winning: 8-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 40-1

Laurine looks like the type of chef that cooks clean, cooks fresh, and cooks well. Exactly the type of chef that can do well on Top Chef. And her picture also suggests she might have a bit of attitude, another great trait to have in the kitchen.

Kevin Gillespie

Odds of winning: 50-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 4-1

With the style of Dom Deluise and the facial hair of a Michael Landon movie, I fear this guy could just be too nice and intimidated by the kitchen and other chefs. But who knows, maybe his heart is black and he'll make a run.

Jesse Sandlin

Odds of winning: 75-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 5-1

Sassy looking yet self taught, I can see Jesse trying to fit in, and failing. Worse, I can see her not being able to take the pressure and crumbling in episode 1. And that would be a shame, because she looks like a lot of fun and would probably bring something cool to the table every week. So while I'm rooting for her, I don't have high hopes.

Jennifer Zavala

Odds of winning: 50-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 6-1

Another self taught, regional specialist, I fear Jennifer too might have too much going against her. I want her to succeed because she's from Philly, and I don't think Philly gets the respect it deserves from the culinary world.

Jennifer Carroll

Odds of winning: 6-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 100-1

Pretty, and a sous chef for Eric Ripert? Yeah, that's a pretty good pedigree for a contestant on Top Chef. Keep an eye on this one.

Hector Santiago

Odds of winning: 11-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 100-1

Is this the villain for season 6? His profile pic certainly suggests it. You couldn't get a more intimidating pose and scowl from a chef. I'm sure he can back it up in the kitchen, I just wonder if he will have the personality to be flexible to deal with some of the more "colorful" challenges Top Chef comes up with.

Eve Aronoff

Odds of winning: 40-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 8-1

Sassy, attractive and "cougar material," Eve could easily become a fan favorite - or a fan foe. With her own cookbook, her own restaurant and a laundry list of credentials other chefs would love to have, at first glance Eve looks like she'll be able to compete. But there's something about her that I can't get over that makes me think she's got a great chance of exiting early. I can't explain myself, other than to say read Blink.

Eli Kirshtein

Odds of winning: 25-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 9-1

Looking less like a chef and more like a criminal mastermind's mentally challenged sidekick, Eli still looks like he has the chops when it comes to cooking. I am a little concerned about describing his style as "unique." That can sometimes mean "scatterbrained," which is not something the judges smile on too much.

Bryan Voltaggio

Odds of winning: 6-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 30-1

Bryan's food philosophy of "local, organic" ingredients, marries nicely with Tom Colicchio's approach, which will certainly give him a great starting point in the kitchen. As long as he realizes he won't be able to always use the local ingredients he wants (Vegas really doesn't boast too many farms and foodstuffs being in a desert) he should do well.

Ashley Merriman

Odds of winning: 5-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 50-1

She's from a town called Sandwich. That's gotta count for something. I like that her go to ingredients are simple and classic, and also like that he favorite dish is something simple and elegant, with just a touch of sophistication. Unassuming looking, she will quietly glide through the early rounds to become a force in the later competitions. Definitely a favorite.

Ash Fulk

Odds of winning: 25-1
Odds of being eliminated first: 3-1

Looking like a cross between John C. Reilly and Patton Oswalt, with a smidge of Liberace style, if I had to choose someone to go first, it would be Ash. Taking nothing away from his culinary skills (which I know nothing about) the formula for early failure is there; fairly young, self taught, not-so clever witty answer to favorite meal...which is why I'm making him the odds on favorite to pack his knives first.

So there you have it...insight based on nothing but a picture and stock bios for the next season of Top Chef. I'm already assuming I'll be dead wrong on all my choices, but isn't that the fun of watching competitions like this?

Feel free to give your thoughts in the comments section. And let me know your interest about running some sort of pool before the season starts. If enough people want, perhaps I'll scrounge something together.

Links of Interest 7/14

Why did Palin leave office?

A taste test to try and prove (or disprove) if bacon really does make everything better.

A list of great rock and roll documentaries.

Sex scenes that might not be so sexy.

What exactly happened to the notion of space colonies?

Old recipes bringing us new beers.

Bottled water. More expensive…and more deadly!

A look back to New York city in 1969.

Can film criticism be boiled down to a simple equation?

What would your last words be?

Links of Interest 7/13

A look at Paul Giamatti.

Can data explain why, as a nation, we’re fat.

Is Ikea really as awesome as you think?

The movie District 9 – cool or stupid?

A list of live shows a pretentious magazine says you should see.

Of elevators and men.

Some lovely examples of taxidermy.

I have to imagine I would be good at this. ‘Tubing.

These cities are old.

Celebrity cameos when they play themselves.

The Popcorn Trick Presents: Concerts at the Cline Compound with Tim Easton (7/27/09)

We here at The Popcorn Trick are very proud to sponsor the next Cline Compound house concert with New West recording artist Tim Easton.

You can read more about what exactly a house concert is and the first unsponsored one here.

After the jump, all the details and a lot of Tim Easton music to prime your ear-holes.

The Details

• When: Monday, July 27th Doors at 7, show sharply at 8.
• Where: The Cline Compound (aka my house) in Media, PA.
• How Much: $20 (American)
• How to Reserve a Seat: Send me an email with the # of seats you need. I’ll then send you payment instructions and specific directions.
• You can also RSVP using Facebook.
• And speaking of Facebook, if you want to join a Group that will notify you of future shows, go here.
  

Seating is limited to keep it a very intimate experience. It's BYOB, so bring your beverage of choice.

The Links & The Music

• Tim Easton’s website
• His New West page
• Some live stuff from World Cafe Live in 2006 (includes some stuff by “moe” too)
• There’s more info on his site, but he did something very cool with his latest release (“Porcupine”). He hand-painted 500 limited-edition vinyl LP album jackets. Bad-ass.

If you like what you hear below and you want a unique Monday night, come on out!

A sprightly little ditty about addiction: “Dear Old Song and Dance”:

After a lengthy intro, the bristling “Burgundy Red”

11-minute set from the Gibson guitar factory:

The Popcorn Trick Presents: Concerts at the Cline Compound with ellipsis (6/21/08)

The house concert phenomenon is not very well known outside of die-hard music fan circles. The concept is simple. Fans open their houses to host touring artists and other fans for intimate, usually acoustic concerts. I’ve attended several and am in the process of becoming a regular host of them.

Find out about my first one and get a tease for the next one after the jump.

The Math

There’s really no downside to a house concert. It’s a winning formula all around.

Artists build and strengthen their fan base. They also usually make a nice amount of coin, especially considering they aren’t splitting it with promoters or anyone else. And it’s a chance to rework some of their songs in a different setting.

Fans get to see the performers they love from a few feet away in an intimate setting they wouldn’t normally have access to. They also get to socialize with other music aficionados in a relaxed environment.

And for the host, I can only speak for myself. I definitely get an ego boost from being the organizer of a fun activity for friends and strangers. And you get the same thrill as the other fans. But as the host and homeowner, there’s something more than that. During the first song of my first house concert I was struck by the fact that every note played and sung would be part of my house’s history forever. I can’t wait to add more coats of musical paint to my walls.

The Curtain Opens: ellipsis

In June of last year, my friend’s acoustic folk/bluegrass/pop outfit ellipsis christened the bow of the good ship Cline Compound. It ended up being primarily friends in attendance, but as a dry run, it could not have gone any better.

The acoustics were fabulous. This showcased the entire band’s musicianship harmonies and lead singer Vale Jokisch’ vocals. If her voice were a food, it would be warm drawn butter and your ears would be chunks of lobster meat.

The crowd was entertained and the band were professionals enough to ignore the dropping of the bottles and whatnot.

I enjoyed it so much, I’ve waited over a year for concert #2. Which leads me to…

The Tease

You can check out this post for all the details, but New West (home of Old 97s, Drive-By Truckers, and um, Scott Weiland) recording artist, Americana singer/songwriter, and easy-on-the-eyes-and-ears Tim Easton will be performing at the Cline Compound this Monday, July 27th.

If you’re interested, check out the post I linked to above, or email us at thepopcorntrick@gmail.com.

If you want to join a Facebook Group that will notify you of future shows, go here.

The Multimedia

Here are 6 of the songs that they did that magical night. Lest you think I live my non-blogging life in black & white, the original video looked really bad until my roommate and videographer Shane converted them. They look a thousand times better.

If this isn’t enough for you, you can check out all 18 songs here.

Originals	Covers
ellipsis House Concert - "Rolling Stone and Scientist" (2 of 18)	ellipsis House Concert - "Volcano (Damien Rice)" (7 of 18)
ellipsis House Concert - "Move On" (9 of 18)	ellipsis House Concert - "Wagon Wheel (OCMS)" (13 of 18)
ellipsis House Concert - "Gone for Good" (16 of 18)	ellipsis House Concert - "Don't Cry (Guns n' Roses)" (17 of 18)

The Best Tweets of the week 7/3 - 7/10

Every week I go back and post my favorite tweets I got during the preceding week. Want to be included in the lunacy? Follow me and be funny, interesting, or threatening! As always, here are the rules:

• I skew toward the amusing
• I won't publicize anyone's stuff if they are locked unless they give me permission (the KChop rule)
• @ replies rarely get on here unless their self explanatory and don't need set up
• I do love me the setup and punchline stuff, but if they span over multiple tweets, I'm not inclined to include them.
• Diplo is immune to any of these rules (and now so is Yoko Ono).

Ok, let's go to the tweets...



erincleary Just had to reassure people cleaning my basement "That chalk outline down there isn't from a real dead body. It was just pretend."

CcSteff I'm going to be home this weekend, but Jim informs me he still plans to dress up my pillow in my underpants and hump it.

GodAwfulBastard I'd strangle an angel for another cup of coffee. Since there's not one here, I guess I'll just walk over to the pot.

keithwade I tweeted about an obscure 1980s beach movie this week, then it shows up on cable tonight. I'm starting small with my psychic powers.

warrenellis Spam header of the day: "Get an omnipotent porksword!"

yokoono The material in the gallery is like an elephant's tail & the larger part of it is in your head. But you have to give a tail to lead into it.

diplo Is so fuqin hot in oslo I climbd my roof of de hotel 2 lay-got loct & seagull trying 2 kill me cuz its nest is up hre http://mypict.me/7z2P

alexblagg I bet Kobayashi will also destroy in the July 5th hot dog pooping competition.

calindrome Breaking News: I now have pants on.

pauliedanger My mom just said "chillaxin" after discussing Facebook drama with a friend. If she ever says "holler", I'm filing for emancipation.

FriedWords That corn dog I ate was nasty. My mouth feels like I just gave fellatio to a Saint Bernard. I'm definitely gonna stop after this next one.

thebrianposehn My Grandpa once had me hold on to a firecracker for too long. Now I kill old men on Independence day. Happy Fourth of July!

Jim_Hamilton What has no thumbs and makes his own fireworks?

sloganeerist Trying to celebrate America but this stupid Navajo family won't give up their picnic table. That's it. Hold my flag, I'm going over there.

cubicle2 I tell people I've eaten "6" hot dogs today to honor each member of Styx. But Jesus and I know that it was to win a bet. Yeah, he gambles.

thomaslennon "Light fuse, get away" should include a middle instruction to "let go."

keithwade To the minivan people we followed home - sorry for tailgating & stalking you, but my son was really into the DVD you had on for your kids.

calindrome This must be one of those Urine Cabs I've been hearing so much about.

davio1962 July 5th at the hospital ER: lots of strange handshakes and hi-3s going around.

Aimee_B_Loved The wall-mounted cock ring dispenser is what makes this restroom seem so classy.

kolchak If I were in the stony silence of Wimbledon right now, I'd have an urge to yell "cock!". But I'm not. So ill just do it in this Dennys.

kolchak Just took the "Which Harry Potter character are you?" quiz and got "the one hauled away for sexually harassing Hermione".

CranberryPerson Good: I've been able to avoid dropping f-bombs in front of my kids. Bad: they gasp in shock when someone says "fudgesicles" or "fishsticks."

michaelianblack Tonight I'm going to a barbecue, which is code for "I'm going to hit on my wife's friends and blame it on the Mike's Hard Lemonade."

Aimee_B_Loved Is it really a great idea to set up a fireworks tent in a liquor store parking lot?

CcSteff The problem with having a rock-climbing boyfriend is that he's really good at tying knots.

NonickName Due to an accident in the kitchen involving two very similar containers...I discovered I don't mind dog biscuits.

Caissie News keeps mentioning lucky fans who won tickets to Michael Jackson's funeral. There's got to be a better way to say this. Lucky mourners?

Aimee_B_Loved Just once, I want my grandma to set her Facebook status to "Getting pants-shitting drunk with grandpa."

FriedWords Eye exam today. I knew it was time when I kept trying to pick other people's kids up at school. At least, that's the excuse I gave them.

Doodleeedoo Boxes are creating a wall around my desk. Like an Edgar Allan Poe story, but with overhead lighting.

davio1962 I’m sure your Oakleys did cost you a pretty penny, but they still look like something the DJ pass out to the kids at a Bar Mitzvah.

kolchak Across the street there's an untelevised Billy Mays tribute. And by tribute I mean some homeless washing windshields with Kaboom.

FartSandwich Now that Michael Jackson is gone, who's gonna keep Jermajesty and Blanket from fighting over the worse name? Just kidding, Jermajesty wins.

Jim_Hamilton Are you just going to stand there, Burt Reynolds, or are you going to sell me a ticket to this wax museum?

erincleary Anniversary dinners just aren't the same when you have to leave the table to change a crap filled diaper in the back of your car.

sherriva Guess I'll have to give some to the hubby tonight so he doesn't molest the cat. Again.

Caissie For the past week I have been continually smelling hot bananas. I might be having the world's most comical stroke.

MooseCrack To the squirrel playing Frogger on my drive to work this morning: GAME OVER!

davio1962 After listening to this new album by Bjork, I'm beginning to wish I was never bjorn.

mookiewilson86 Ya know what's a terrible name for a rapper? Holla Cost.

diplo damn we run outta food @ the studio .. im about to make a peach omlett with a side of peanut butter

TheMaskedBandit My mom gave me some honey scented lotion....I smell like I gave Winnie The Pooh an HJ.

AndeeD Tummy hurts. Wondering when I failed to notice myself swallowing pop rocks & Red Bull. Or maybe I consumed motivated gnomes tunneling out.

JeeNeeBee FACT: Going from 1-ply toilet paper, to 3-ply toilet paper is like wiping yur butt with a pillow.

patkiernan Woman on subway asks "Are you on NY1?" in deep voice. Then says "please report more on transgenders." Unspoken question answered.

rbender Phrases to avoid on resume and/or personal ad: "my parole officer", "river of skulls", "manager at Dennys"

Jim_Hamilton If my archenemy could see what I'm doing right now, I bet he'd feel like he has wasted his life.

debenham Hey, The Fray is about to play on the Today Show. Fans of Coldplay and Snow Patrol: begin the lowering of expectations!!

debenham You know what I was surprised not to see at the MJ funeral? The Jackson family, eating his body. Maybe they had a private ceremony for this?

debenham I was mistaken, by the way - it's Rascal Flatts on the Today Show. So, revision: People with hearing, please lower your expectations.