Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Handicapping the World Series

Guest blogger Geoff is here today, giving us an exclusive look into the upcoming World Series. It's probably a look that you're not going to find anywhere else. Some people handicap based on the lineups, some handicap based on pitching, but Geoff looks at the intangibles.

I apologize for the multiple Phillies related posts these past few days, but not enough to stop them coming in the next few days. Them making the World Series is kind of a big deal. Enough from me though, on the flip side read how you can win money on the Fall Classic with Geoff's analysis...

I was daydreaming on the ride home and actually started writing notes in traffic. Not a great idea (my deciding to take notes, not the concept)…

Trying to handicap the World Series? Don’t waste your time scouring box scores and watching the so-called experts run their yaps. When deciding whether to lay -145 on the Rays or try to make +125 on the Phillies, you need to take it a step further…

World Series History

Philadelphia – Fourth trip to the series since 1980. Only the Yankees, Braves and Cardinals can claim more.

Tampa Bay – First winning season ever.

EDGE: Phillies, they lead 1-0

Intangible World Series History

Philadelphia – One world title in 130 years? Are you kidding me?

Tampa Bay – Fellow expansioners from Miami have made the playoffs twice and won the Series twice.

EDGE: Tampa Bay. Series tied 1-1


Philadelphia – Good ol’ Cholly. Known as the Red Devil in Japan. 0-1 in World Series as a manager. Can’t understand much of what he says but I hear he keeps a loose clubhouse.

Tampa – Madden embodies cool. Bleached hair, black glasses, probably rocks out to some Pixies after wins and drowns his losses in some Smiths. Perfect coach for a young team.

EDGE: Tampa Bay. Rays lead 2-1

Best Kalas

Philadelphia – Hall of Famer Harry in the booth. One of the most distinguished voices in sports broadcasting. Pros: loves booze and the ladies. Cons: Thinks 300-footers are home runs, sings “High Hopes” ad nauseum.

Tampa Bay – Todd has been with Tampa Bay since its inception.

EDGE: Todd has seen a lot of baseball in his day, but Harry’s seen worse and persevered. Edge Phillies. Tied 2-2

Best Stats

Philadelphia – Ryan Howard struck out exactly 199 times each in 2007 and 2008.

Tampa Bay – True story – I was this close to driving to Tampa in 2006 to get a Dewayne Staats bobblehead. Best baseball voice going today and handsome to boot.

EDGE: Trick question. This is not even a contest. The category should have been Best Staats. Tampa Bay in a blowout. Rays lead 3-2

Better Play On Words (Or Numbers)

Philadelphia – Creative fan devised a wheel that, when spun, reads “Champs ‘80” on one half and “Champs ‘08” on the other half

Tampa Bay – Stud third baseman shares a name (almost) with a weathered actress that has been neither hot nor relevant for a couple of years.

EDGE: Mesmerized like a celibate Elaine Benes staring at spinning tires, so am I with the spinning Phillies wheel. Phils easily. Going to a decisive seventh game.


Philadelphia – Some big green thing called the Phillie Phanatic. Brilliant dancer. Spend some time at the ballpark watching the subtle humor in his antics.

Tampa Bay – Some big blue thing called Raymond. Kind of like a Phanatic without the belly.

EDGE: The Phanatic loves the Schillometer. Edge Phils. Parade down Broad Street. Collect $125 for every $100 you wagered.

Notes: In the late 90s Geoff and myself created the Schillometer, a high-tech bed sheet designed to record the number of strikeouts Schilling had in a season. Plastered on the wall in section 738 of the Vet (RIP) during every Schilling start, it gained a mild following of some of the stranger characters that would come down to the ball park to witness mediocrity. Enough of a crowd would develop that occasionally the Phillie Phanatic would come up and visit. Unrelated, we also saw from these seats a Ben Franklin impersonator almost behead a child in the first row of seats on the field with a hot dog gun.


mndleftbod said...

I, for one, welcome the Phillies related posts and was surprised it took as long as it did for them to appear...

Goose said...

I'm not ready to get into it too much - there's still a series to get through.

Anonymous said...

Do you think it might be possible to get those youtube clips converted to vimeo or google video?

Anonymous said...

The Schillometer was dumb. It was a Rip-off of the Wolf Pack.

Goose said...

I wish I knew who anonymous was to counter this comment!