Friday, October 3, 2008

The Popcorn Trick - NFL Picks Week #5 (Goose)

So, how's it going with you? Hopefully well. In an amazing, off-the-board-at-Vegas upset, both Cline and myself are positive money so far. That is destined to change this week. Seriously, I doubt anyone is using are picks to break their bookie's bank, even with the witty reasons we give, but in the off chance you are, I'm suggesting you start looking for another source soon. I know that's not something handicappers usually admit, but until I have a 900 number where I get paid for making these picks, I'm going to be honest.

As for last week, we both went 7-6. bringing our totals for the year to:

Cline: 18-11
Goose: 16-13

It's a war or mediocrity, and there are no two people better suited to kind of slug it out.

On to the picks...(picks are bold and CAPITALIZED)

Tennessee @ BALTIMORE PK

I don't believe Tennessee is good enough to go undefeated. Therefore, they have to lose at some point. This is the game. Baltimore, though coming off a crushing loss, can't afford to lose.

Kansas City @ CAROLINA -7.5

Sure, Kansas City stunned everyone last week (everyone except me of course) including their coach I'm pretty sure. But that doesn't mean they suddenly got good. Still bad, I'm taking Carolina. But don't take my word for it, take the word of this guy whose sitting in front of a green screened Vegas strip...

SAN DIEGO -3 @ Miami

Same rules apply here. Yes, Miami beat New England. But I don't see them beating San Diego. Nor do I see them staying within 3 points of them. Miami will win a few more games, but this isn't one of them.


I'm taking Philly simply based on where each team is in their schedule. Philly came off a game they could have won, so they're going to want to play tough. Washington came off their superbowl for the season so far, and are flying high enough to let that affect them. In Washington, maybe it's different, but it's not. Thankfully. I'll be driving home from the backwoods of Virginia and really don't need to hit that kind of traffic.


ESPN the Mag tells me to choose Houston, since they are the magazine's sleeper this year. I don't know how a magazine can hype up a team and then call them a sleeper though. Isn't a sleeper by definition a team that beats low expectations that have been set by the media?

Regardless, I'm going with the Colts, as the Texans were my anti-sleeper pick.

Seattle @ NY GIANTS -5

Other than my extreme hatred for the Giants, there was something else telling me to take the Seahawks in this game. But I just can't do it. They stink. I know Burress is suspended, but I don't think that will be enough for the Seahawks. It would be great though since Burress is suspended if he just suited up with the Seahawks and played with them in a mask. That might turn the tables. Ok, so I reserve the right to change my mind - if the Seahawks start a wide receiver in a mask, take them +5.

Atlanta @ GREEN BAY -4.5

Even with Rodgers shoulder dangling out of its socket, I'm going with Green Bay. It's supposed to be negative eleventy degrees out there. No way Ryan leads a subpar team in those conditions. Besides, I'm on the same page as Fred Smoot:

Can I somehow get in a fantasy league with Fred Smoot next year?

Chicago @ DETROIT +4.5

Anyone besides me think Detroit is going to blow up now that Millen is gone? Me neither. But still, I'm going to keep taking Detroit and the points until they cover. It has to happen sometime, and against Kyle Orton at home is as good a time as any. Kyle's mangy beard may have beat the Eagles last week, but it runs into a buzzsaw in Detroit this week. I hope.

Tampa Bay @ DENVER -4.5

This line seems weird. Is Griese really only 4.5 point underdog good? In Denver? After Denver just lost to the Chiefs? Normally, I'd say this is some sort of trap game, or the line is telling me something, but instead, I'm just taking the Broncos. Chucky will be displeased.

BUFFALO @ Arizona +1.5

I flip flopped a few times on this one. I don't think Buffalo is as good as its record, but I think Buffalo thinks it's as good as its record. And I think Arizona doesn't think it's as good as its record and thinks it can't win this game. Whereas Buffalo thinks it can.

NEW ENGLAND @ San Francisco -1.5

Belicheck coming off a bye seems dangerous to me. Plus I heard some guy on the radio say he thinks Belicheck will get coach of the year for his potential ability this year coaching a Bradyless team. Some stranger on the radio's advice is good enough for me, so I'm going with the Patriots.

Cincinnati @ DALLAS -11.5

Dallas is starting to get just a little nuts...The TO non-story this week secures it. So, the Bengals are the perfect opponent for them. They'll blow up on them and everyone will forget about what TO said. Until a little later in the season. But we'll keep that on ice for now.


Two teams that pretty much play the same exact way. In fact, I bet if they all switched jerseys, it would take until the second quarter for anyone to notice - including the coaches.


Another game I have absolutely no idea about. Do you think Frerotte can win on the road? Do you think Reggie Bush is coming around? I have no idea. I'm just glad the Raiders aren't playing this week.

1 comment:

mndleftbod said...

the cooley draft is one of my favorite youtubes

"i'll take lendale white"
"that's a pretty gay pick"

"What's the QB on Atanta's name?"
"Aw man, he ain't nothing but a pair of shoes..."