Monday, November 10, 2008

The Alphabet of 80s Music Videos: A

I've had way too much fun with I'm sure you've picked up on that from this post and this one too. Cline even got into the mix with a look at his own 80s music video memories here.

In fact, I've enjoyed it so much, that instead of working on my novel, I've decided to start a series of posts looking back at 80s videos broken down by the alphabet. I mean, how hard or long can it be to write a 50,000 word novel? I'll finish that up over the weekend. Looking at 80s videos is much more important anyway.

(Actually, this isn't going delve too deep - basically I just looked at the list of videos and picked out my favorites. You want insightful analysis? Check out McNeil/Lehrer. Actually, I haven't seen McNeil in awhile, so you may be out of luck, because I always thought McNeil brought the analysis to that show, while Lehrer brought the show tunes.)

On the flips side, a look at some videos!

Adam Ant - Stand and Deliver

Oh good, punk style mixed with colonial garb! I'm trying to think of things I hate more than these two styles and I'm coming up snake eyes. I assume Andam Ant had fans back in the day, but I can't imagine legitimate punk acts found his war paint makeup endearing. I will say that the steam punk movement owes a lot to Mr. Ant.

Also, if you were riding in a carriage, and a Adam Ant stopped you and demanded your valuables dressed like that, wouldn't you think you might still have the upper hand? Grace Jones is more masculine. Ok, bad example, but you get the idea.

I did enjoy seeing a few people dressed in dinner jackets and prom dresses during the hanging scene.

Ant: "Hey, I said come with colonial garb. We're supposed to be bandits on the road!"
Sane extras: "Oh yeah...we forgot."

Air Supply - Even the Nights are Better

This has to be set in Wildwood, NJ. For those of you who don't live in the PA/NJ/DE/NY area, Wildwood is known for its monstrously long beaches (a quarter mile from boardwalk to water isn't an exaggeration) and it's lovely clientele. Think Escape from New York mixed with West Side Story and you'll have a pretty good idea. It's a weird spot to showcase a budding romance between four people (we'll get to that breakdown in a bit) but I guess it's not really an issue for people that have no idea about the lovely trash that is this beach.

Air Supply is known for it's romantic ballads, so the song isn't a surprise. The video on the other hand...Before we're introduced to the two women, the editing really suggests these two guys are going to totally make out on the beach. Even when the two women show up it's a coin flip as to who is attracted to who. It's also good to see the guy who almost killed Bruce Willis in Die Hard getting work, though I didn't need to see so much of his chest. They're called buttons; learn to use them. I really wish the video ended with a sex orgy too.

Asia - Don't Cry

I really don't know where to begin, so I'll just transcribe the notes I took while watching this video:

  • Uh oh, do I feel a Toto vibe? - No this is much worse/better
  • What's with the crazy locales all these groups pick for their videos?
  • Love the hand in the pocket look
  • oooh! Bushwacking!
  • Asia really loved pyramids
  • Hey, thanks lady for not really helping me on this really steep cliff that I'm climbing up with no mountaineering gear
  • Ok, so is this supposed to be Egypt?
  • Does she want him or want to kill him? Or is that the point of the video?
  • Those last 3 guys? Were they...? Never mind. I do like the comedic vibe they bring that comes out of left field
From what I can gather, the lead singer of Asia is also a renowned Egyptian artifact excavator - but he falls under the spell of a woman/goddess (who wouldn't really) who may or my not want to have sex with him. If she does, she's playing really hard to get. If she doesn't, she's just not being nice. The video ends with what I am going to guess are three guys who fell under the same spell and know what the guy is going through right time he will join them for a tasty Egyptian beverage and laugh along with them when they see the next schlep try and score some Egyptian goddess tail. That or try to kill Dr. Jones.


Anonymous said...

I expect to see quite possibly the best video ever, Robert Palmer 'Looking For Clues' further on down the road. And for the 'C' section, a little 'She Sells Sanctuary' from the Cult. Astbury has a little indian/pirate thing going on there.

hendge said...

Please, please, please ... when you get to the K's (feel free to jump there right now), this must be included:

Quite possibly the highest unintentional comedy quotient possible within 3 minutes and 52 seconds.